Goodbye

Welp the day has finally arrived.  It's 3 a.m. and in about 12 hours I'll be on my way back to America.  Sorry for the cliche statement but this truly has been the experience of a lifetime.  There is no other way to describe it.  I have learned so much about myself and my horizons have just began to broaden.  I wish I could write some wonderful essay to sum everything up and express all these feelings, but I am not that creative and don't have near enough time.  I guess you just have to talk to me yourself if you want that.  I can't thank the wonderful people I have met enough for everything they have shown me, given me, and taught me.  It has been a real treat.  I also want to thank my family for supporting me in my adventures.  I hope you see some benefit from the investment.  This blog has been a real treat.  Contained are so many terrific experiences of the journey.  I hope you all enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.  I think I will try to continue to blog and I would love for people to follow.  Hopefully I can supply a brief laugh or a cool story for you.  I guess that pretty much finishes it.  Australia its been quite a ride, but this is far from a final goodbye.  Catch Ya.

Remember: Life is a novel written one page at a time.  

The Great White Shark

VIDEO!!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SWYhIFK9vrc

Let me start off by saying this was possibly the coolest thing I have ever done.  Any bucket list must add dive with great white sharks.

The trip started on Saturday at 5:30 in the morning.  I got to watch a beautiful sunrise and fairy meadow beach, then I was off to the airport.  I flew from Sydney to Adelaide.  Conveniently, my plane landed late and since I am a baby adult, I booked my connecting flight too close.  Even after sprinting through the airport like an idiot, I got to the gate only to hear that I had just missed it, Shit.  Luckily I was able to sweet talk the lovely lady behind the desk into helping me out.  She set me up on a later flight for free (thank god).  Three hours later I was finally off to Port Lincoln.  There I met up with my friend Isak and we headed to our HOTEL.  Thats right, not cheap hostel for this trip.  We actually had our own room, bathroom, and fridge.  Talk about high class living.  Day one was complete.

The morning started again before the sun rose.  Within two minutes of arising from my slumber, blood started pouring out of my nose, a was a clear sign that many sharks would be seen.  Upon arrival at the boat, we headed on a two and a half hour journey to the Neptune Islands.  The ride was anything but smooth proved by the girl that I witnesses puking all over the deck.  Luckily we made it with only the once mishap, which I'm sure only quickened the arrival of the whites.  The cove we pulled into was surrounded by small green shrubs and the banks were full of innocent seal pups.  This place was a shark's paradise.  After the tour we anchored near the middle of the inlet and the cage was released into the water.  It was time for the main event.  Blood and chum were dumped all around the boat.  Tuna gills and guts were tied to buoys and thrown out into the water.  The theme of Jaws echoed in the cool morning air.  I peered over the side of the ship.  There it was; the king of the ocean.  Holy mother of god are these things big.  Soon one appeared, then another, then another.  Three of them circled round the ship attacking the tuna lines as the skipper and deck hand yanked the lines as the giants attacked.  I geared up to go down into the cage after the first group.  The waters grew calm again as the bait was pulled in.  I climbed down into the icy water.  The combination of my buoyant wet suit and heavy weight belt made the cage feel like I was on the surface of the moon.  Fish swarmed around the chum as the water again turned to a murky red.  I breathed steadily.  A large shadow approached.  My heart raced.  My breathing stopped.  There the first one appeared.  The rest of the 45 minutes in the cage were pretty much the same.  Every time the sharks were close, I would forget to breathe.  Four different sharks  came around when were were down there.  One of them was 5 and a half meters (18 feet).  At some points I was literally a foot and half away from them.  When our time was up it felt as if we had been down there for ten minutes.  I climbed aboard only to find my nose bleeding again.  Wonderful.  At the end of the day we had seen a total of seven different whites, two of which were five and a half meters long (these only show up during june and july).  It was an epic day that I will never forget.  I can't wait to get this video up so you guys can see the beasts.  None of the videos or pictures will do them true justice.  When you are standing on the top deck looking into the ocean and one of these things shows up, you see how fucking big an 18 foot shark is.  Breathtaking (as described).

Thanks for coming with me Isak.  You made it a great trip buddy.

Biochem Final

Going through the airport you have to put your bag through a security scanner and remove whatever is in your pockets.  Shoes, belts, and watches stay on, liquid is permitted, AND NO ID OR TICKET IS REQUIRED.  Its like the 1960s (I'm assuming).

Going to my exam.  Everything must be emptied from your pockets and put into a clear plastic bag, hats may not be worn, all liquids have to be stored in clear plastic bottles with the labels removed, calculators may not have a cover, and phones must be turned off (or automatic failure).  Photo ID is checked at the door and your assigned desk (one of 600 or so in the test taking building).  There is security at the street crossing to the building, entrance to the building, and door to the gymnasium.  Once at your seat, one of maybe 50 old people (test proctors apparently) stroll down your row and inspect your belongings and make sure nothing is in your pockets.  This continues throughout the test, and is especially pleasant when they check your ID for the 5th time along with both sides of your calculator, ruler, and all your pencils while you are mid-question.  You may not go to the bathroom until 20 minutes after exam commencement, however the privilege is revoked 30 minutes before the exam finishes.  To go to the bathroom you must raise your hand and signal one of the proctors.  They come and wait by your dest as you file out of the row and down the middle aisle.  The bathroom is occupied by security.  They make sure you do not spell any letters out with your urine to signal to anyone (ok not really but close).  There is a clock at the beginning of every row.  You may not leave within 10 minutes of the end of the exam.

Lesson learned:  If you want to get strip searched, take a test at a uni.  If you are looking for a place to go hang out, maybe for some shopping or to check out some terminals for fun, go to the airport.

What a wonderful way to end my experience at the University of Wollongong.  Thanks for the stress relief guys.  I was laughing my ass off the whole time.

Melbourne

 First Beach Stop.  Near Bells Beach.

 Split Point Lighthouse 

 Rainforest Walk

 12 Apostles 

 Arch

 London Bridge (Section connecting the two collapsed)

 Grotto

 Croft Institute

 Heart of Melbourne

 Degraves Alley.  Picture doesn't do it justice.

 Another section of Melbourne

 Yet another section

Main Portion of City

Wow.  Melbourne was possibly the coolest city I have ever been too.

Day one started out with an empty plane ride and a checkin at a hostel that turned out to be right in town.  The group of me, Keith, and Bianca walked around all day with our eyes up and our jaws dropped.  I must have ran into three people as I tried to take everything in.  We soon found this place called Degraves Street which is like the daragon alley or whatever straight out of Harry Potter.  It was filled with tons of coffee and other food shops.  As the night approached Claire, Marcus, and Elise joined us and we went out looking for some dinner.  Some Italian guy sold us on his restaurant as we were walking past.  Best choice ever.  The guys played pranks on everyone the whole time including scary clown masks to scare anyone passing by and spiders all over the place.  Free dessert helped too.  After dinner we somehow all decided we wanted to bowl and found this awesome little bowling alley with some great music and blacklights illuminating the place.  The night ended at a random bar playing pool.  It may not sound like much but that first night was awesome.

Day two Keith, Clare, Bianca, Dosey and rented a car and headed for the Great Ocean Road.  We did this right after we called the other group idiots for trying to do the trip with no directions.  What a bunch of Hypocrites.  The trip actually went quite smooth.  Its amazing how you can get anywhere with a good old fashion map.  We stopped for walks at a beach, light house, and rainforest on our way to the main features of the Great Ocean Road.  On my leg of driving I got to drive through the forest on a nice and curvy  road.  I saw elements of Mike Rice in myself as I took those corners like I was in a BMW.  Everyone in the back seat really appreciated it.  Once we got to our destination our jaws once again dropped.  The 12 Apostles, London Bridge, the Arch, and the Grotto were all breath-taking.  Sure they were packed full of tourists but man oh man.  I wish the pictures I took did them justice.

Now after a full day of driving (we left at 8 and got back at 9) you would think we would call it a day.  No sir, the night was far from over.  A stop at the bottle-o and a shower is all that was needed.  By 11 I was intoxicated and headed to the first bar.  Down a random alley full of graffiti, and around a few corners, appeared the coolest bar I have ever been to.  The Croft Institute is a chemistry/hospital style bar where drinks are served in beakers with syringes, hospital beds are in the bathroom, and the bars are dirty lab benches.  There is some random blue lighting and the rest of the light comes from candles.  My drink of choice: Absinthe.  Why not?  It was the perfect fit for the place.  Man is that a harsh shot though.  We hung around for a bit (sadly the green fairy never appeared) then headed to our next destination.  Down another alley there was a dirty building that looked like it was dead.  We got in the elevator and on the second floor we found a karaoke bar.  There was only drunk older woman singing so we didn't stay long.  We followed a random group to our final destination.  Cookie was the name.  Up six flights of stairs there was a bar modeled like a train with individual carriages that hid tables.  I was in a daze but somehow managed to find the dance floor where we all stayed until 3 am.  Toward the end I am told that I merely had my eyes closed and was swaying back and forth (Tiredness not drunkenness).  It was a long day.

Day three was again filled with good food and walking around town.  We went to a bunch of museums including one that was all about video games.  Then came one of the best meals of my life.  One of the guys (Lasker) that I was traveling with is a professional chef and booked this Lebanese restaurant for us. The five course meal consisted of amazing food including quail and lamb that literally fell right off the bone.  Holy shit was it amazing.  I only made it to my bed that night (though dinner started at 8 and didn't finish till 1130).

Day four was our last day.  We spend the morning checking out the Victorian Markets.  The place was full of vendors and hundreds of people.  The surprise came when they had all these chickens and ducks right next to the food that were for sale to lay eggs or eat.  Again my weak description doesn't do the scene justice.  Anyway again I was stuffed and ready to do nothing but sit on my ass.

The trip was awesome and Melbourne is one of the few cities I wouldn't hesitate to live in.  The city feels completely safe, there are people from all over the world, and everyone is trying to be an individual with a multitude of crazy styles.  Everyone needs to make it there one day.

Last Week of Uni

 Friday's theme was what you want to be when you grow up...A drunk Doctor I guees

Last Wednesday

I can't believe I'm done already.  That was the fastest/easiest semester of my college career.  Ditching class, sleeping in, no homework...so thats what its like to scrape by.  The experience was loads of fun, but I am ready to go back to actually caring about school.  Course,  I say all this now, but next semester I'm sure I will be missing the Jordan of this semester.  Guess you have to grow up at some point.

The last Wednesday out was a wonderful night but fairly uneventful.  There were some glasses thrown in the beer garden, one of which nailed a mate in the head.  Luckily the result was just a big bump.  There was also a fight, but I only saw one of the lads get helped out with blood pouring from his forehead.  Kids these days.

Friday was a bit more eventful.  I'm not sure what mixture of alcohol resulted in my behavior, but the concoction should be avoided in the feature.  However, I could also attribute my kleptocracy to Mr. Sam Wade.  For some reason we decided that we just had to have one of the red bull tables from an anonymous bar.  Try number one came as we looked around and saw all the bouncers occupied.  In the blink of an eye the table was thrown over the fence and into the alley.  Step one complete.  Step two was delayed due to the need for a kebab.  As we were passing the bar to go to the alley a bouncer stepped in front of us and went down the alley.  We casually passed only to find him bringing not just ours, but two additional tables back into the beer garden.  I guess great minds think alike.  We should have stopped there, but my parents didn't raise a quitter (but apparently a thief).  Back at the bar we quickly rounded up a crew similar to the one featured in Oceans 11.  The plan: one guy walks into the club from the beer garden with a cigarette to distract the bouncers.  Using the distraction two people throw the table over the fence where myself and Wado wait to grab it and run.  And thats exactly how it went (in my mind).  We grabbed the table and ran down the street, turned into another alley and around a corner to break/celebrate.  Within seconds footsteps and a yell came from down the alley.  I turned to see a shadow approaching and did what any American boy has learned, RUN.  The same lessons aren't taught in Australia.  Wado stayed and talked to the lady explaining that he was sorry and would take the table back.  I was threw 10 yards of thick bushes (which was achieved by a mixture of rolling, falling, jumping, and cursing), two fences, a brick wall, and a back alley by the time the conversation was over.  So in the end we didn't get a new table, but we also didn't get in any trouble.  Good thing I know how to run and Wado knows how to give his ID to someone else so they can't take down his information.  Great Success.  Wollongong you have given me some wonderful nights, but for now my liver needs a break.  Maybe I'll see you one more time before I go.

A bit of catch up

 Entrance

Sorry its been so long guys.  After all the essays I've been writing recently, I am quickly realizing how awesome being able to write on this is.  I don't care if I spell something wrong, use the word it, and I don't have to reference a damn thing.  Freedom I tell you.  Fragments, run-ons, hell I love IT all.  Here is a quick catch up with life.  

Sunday was the International Food Festival.  All the international kids went to the kitchens to make dishes from their various countries.  Luckily there are a hundred Americans so I got to eat instead of cook, though their buffalo wings were a huge let down.  The day was full of perfect weather and free food.  Awesome.  Ant and Sam also played for everyone.  Their performance was great as always and I'll get a video up sooner rather than later.  After all the food I was invited to play soccer.  My fragile ego had been slightly repaired from Friday's basketball outing so I figured why not, it couldn't be worse.  The game actually started out fine.  I remembered how to kick the ball, run, and pass.  Amazing.  Of course it didn't take long for the shin splints to kick in.  From a gazelle to a turtle I slowly hobbled around the field.  Then a quick tweak of the old fucking knee and my day was done.  I am so not cut out for this shit anymore. 

On Thursday night a group of us went out to the Illawara for a night of retro dancing and drinking.  Wado and I had purchased a bottle of gin and made gin and tonics to get a break from the goon.  The liquor was flowing smoothly so before we knew it, we had finished the bottle.  Then we stood up.  As we made are way to downtown Gong, I was able to sober up a bit.  Apparently, a bit was not enough.  See Illawara is notorious for the biggest douche bag bouncers and is the hardest bar to get into.  Once at the front of the line I was asked how many drinks I had so far.  My answer may have not been the smoothest, ("Uhhhhh four or five maybe") but I was completely coherent...and ready to dance.  Instead of the door opening, I was asked to stand to the side.  Why you ask, I have no idea.  I stood there as I watched the rest of my friends stand by the door after they had been admitted.  There we all were, well them and me maybe five feet away.  They looked at me and asked what I was doing and asked the bouncers why I had to stand there.  "Because I am a revolutionary!" was my response.  (I may have fumbled revolutionary a bit as well but come on.  That's a bit of a doozy anyways)  The bouncers finally got fed up with all of us standing there and signaled for me to go inside.  Thanks guys.  Good thing you made me stand there for five minutes.  That was real productive.  Dick heads.  The night was good besides that.  

Since school hasn't been much of a priority for me, I have turned my focus to training Mr. Sam Wade.  Its been a wearing journey with all his bitching and moaning, but we have reached week 3.  Already there has been drastic improvements in strength, weight loss, and appearance.  I may have found my new calling.  With three more weeks to go, there is still a lot of work to be done, but I promise you, I will turn that little boy into a man.  

During our trip to the gym today quite an event occurred.  On the weekends there are recreational rugby games held at the ovals near the gym.  There was one such game on the field next to the gym.  Wado and I happened to be conveniently riding the bikes the look right down on the field.  Within about three minutes there was a scuffle and an all out fight broke out.  Three pairs were teeing off on each other while everyone else shoved right and left.  One pair separated from the scuffle.  One of the guys grabbed the other's collar and ripped his dead towards his incoming fist for a direct hit.  The fight soon ended and the game had about a two minute intermission.  Soon it resumed with no penalties.  No harm, no foul.  Apparently the fight was no big deal and there is one most games.  Damn, Australians sure got their sports right.  I only wish lacrosse had been like that.  Bravo.  

A group of us also went to the biggest Buddhist temple in the southern hemisphere today.  There were people all over and a large group was singing and praying in the main shrine.  It was awesome and I no one that had been there had seen the place actually crowded before.  The place was extremely relaxing and enlightening.  Enjoy the pics.  

Well tomorrow is the start of the last week of the session.  I wish I would have counted the number of classes I've gone to, however I don't wish for my parents to know that information.  I remember the last week being such a big deal back home.  Like a huge weight lifted off your shoulders.  Well here there is no light at the end of the tunnel, because there is no tunnel.  It's not a big deal at all.  If anything I look forward to being done so I can get back home and back to real school so I don't feel like such a worthless sack of shit anymore.  All that is left is an essay, quiz, and a final.  I'll let you know how it ends.  

Baseketball

I considered myself a fairly athletic male.  I was competitive and loved to play all sorts of sports.  This all came to a screeching halt on Friday.  See I have never played a game of basketball in my life (a sad truth, and one of my many short comings), and for some reason I agreed to play with a bunch of people that I had recently met.  They all said they weren't very good so I figured/hoped I wouldn't stick out too much.  I was wrong, dead wrong.  I would compare the experience to a Texan on a double black, a blind man playing baseball, or a quadriplegic UFC fighter.  Too say the least, it was awful.  Nearly every time I got the ball I immediately passed or got the ball stolen attempting to dribble.  Every offensive possession I ran around like a chicken with its head cut off.  I thought I would have at least been able to play defense but I had no idea how rough I could be so I ended up taking multiple elbows in the chest and getting pushed around as if I were on ice.  The game was one of the worst sporting experiences of my life and was just the kind of impression I wanted to give to the new group.  The one highlight came when I pulled up (meaning came to a dead stop and shot) for a five foot jumper that I actually made.  A flicker of hope that was immediately extinguished the next time my team was forced to pass the ball to the 12 year old running around in a bulky knee brace.  I think this was the first and last time I ever try to play a game of basketball.  Its been real, but I guess some things aren't meant to be.

As I trudged away from the gym with my head held low, I was passed by a gang of about six uni students........on razor scooters.  "Maybe they are more of the type of athletes I should be associating with at this point," I thought to myself.

A bit of luck

Though my life has been fairly un-blog-worthy for the past few weeks, the weekend brought a wonderful story.  My friend Gabby had her boyfriend in town and recruited me to be their travel guide up Mt. Kierra. I had hiked it twice so I was the American expert.  The walk up went smoothly, and a good workout was achieved.  As we were cascading down the mountain, I took a step and heard a shrill.  Mike, the boyfriend, grabbed his girlfriend and jumped backward.  I looked down and saw a pissed off snake, standing straight up.  This thing was mean.  It charged at us and struck left and right.  We grabbed some sticks and poked at it a bit as we went around at a good distance.  Given its dark color and extreme aggressiveness, I'm pretty sure it was a brown snake.  Now a brown snake will kill you in 30 minutes if you don't get anti-venom.  That means that I'm one lucky son of a bitch.  I tip my hat off to Mike for grabbing Gabby, and I look down upon myself for being a dumb ass and not seeing the thing myself.  Well I guess Australia really does have poisonous creatures.  Can't wait to hike Kierra again!

Bad Luck/Dream

Sunday I decided to go for a hike up Mt. Kierra.  It's the local "mountain" but is more of a hill.  After getting to the top I decided to meander around for a bit, seeing if I could find anything cool.  As I was climbing down a slanted rock wall, I slipped on some wet moss that covered the slab.  I lashed out for the nearest tree.  Wrong tree.  I removed my hand to find it covered in thorns.  Now my hand has chicken pox and 20 splinters.  Lucky Day.

Dead asleep I laid, dreaming of something horrible.  I can't tell you what it was about , but this must have been the first nightmare I have had in years.  My eyes shot open.  Wide awake my heart pounded, no it was more than that.  It felt like there was a jackhammer in my chest, hammering away at my rib cage.  My hands lurched toward the excruciating pain.  Back and forth I rolled waiting for this pseudo-heart attack to end.  "Breath slowly, deep breaths," I thought.  I have to lower my heart rate.  "In and out, in and out."  Then nothing.  From fears of death, to frustration for being up at 3:30 in the fucking morning, and back to sleep in an instant.  The morning came and I asked myself if that really happened, or if the whole thing was all a dream.  A pain lingered in my chest.  Confirmed.  Nightmares suck.

Bus Stop Blues

Everyday around 5:30 endless crowds form at the Uni bus stop.  The majority of them are looking for the C bus, including myself.  As soon as one of those babies comes into sight, the race is on.  The hordes move like crashing waves towards the approaching vessel.  Here all personal boundaries are broken.  Feet are stepped on, girls are pushed, and backpacks are used as blunt objects in second degree assaults.  I bet this is the best part of the day for the bus drivers.  They get to choose whatever spot they please, only to watch the ensuing battle.  Often times they will pull over 25 meters short of the stop and enjoy the mad dash for the door.  Of course things change when people get on the bus.  It's as if they're on vacation.  They sit wherever they want, making sure not to be too close to everyone else.  As soon as the seats are taken, instead of pushing to the back, the aisle will fill about half way from the back.  The front gets jammed with people, while the back stays cool and open with space for a hammock and a bar.  The bus often pulls away when no inch of space is left in the front, leaving dozens of long faces in the dust, while the people in the back stretch their legs and relax for the upcoming ride.  It's a cruel world we live in, but that's how the bus stop works.  Sad but true.  Those people just better hope I'm not that long face left behind.  Otherwise....Oh it's on.

PG Language dedicated to Pattie Danford.

The Movies

Well, as the breaks have finally come to an end I have been continuously reminded of why I am here. My education.  It seems that my assignments, as well as everyone else's, are all due very soon.  This is becoming a big problem since my motivational tank is on E.  I have receiving a few grades so far and I find myself not looking at the overall percent, but how far above the 50% mark I am.  All I have to say is if it wasn't pass fail down here, I would be in a very bad place.  Really though, with classes like Dreams in Literature, what do you expect?

Since everyone is doing work nothing much has been going on.  Next weekend I plan to go to Sydney for a night on the town and I am looking into taking a trip down to Melbourne for the study recess (God knows I wouldn't actually use the break to study).

One thing I can comment on is my recent trip to the movies.  Last night I went to go see the movie Thor with some friends.  In my opinion, crap movie.  Skip it.  The real experience came in the movie theatre.  We entered the movie theatre looking to buy our tickets, however there was no booth or sales desk that you usually buy your tickets at.  Instead we bought them at the concession stand....for $15.50, ouch.  Jacob made the mistake of purchasing a medium drink and a small bag of skittles....26.50.  We then made our way to the screening room.  In the distance, past a 12 foot blank space of carpet, there was a small theatre screen.  As usual, we made our way higher up to avoid neck damage (plus the seats up close smelled like crap).  As I plopped down in my sticky, cracked pleather, covered in popcorn seat I peered at the screen in the distance.  Good thing I wore my glasses.  That bitch was far.  All around the place was littered with food and candy bags.  At least these seats smelled better.  I soon settled in to what would be a typical hero film.  At least Natalie Portman is gorgeous.  I left the theatre in need of a shower, but at least I was in good company.  I'll be skipping the next trip to that shit hole.  AMC 24, I took you for advantage.  You are the grey goose of movie theaters, and I just had a taste Mcormick's.  How I miss you.

ANZAC Day

April 25th is Anzac Day in Australia.  This is where they celebrate their alliance with New Zealand, but it has turned into celebrating and remembering everyone that has served in the military.  Its just like Veterans Day, but way more intense.  There is a parade all day in Sydney and services everywhere.  Our plan was to wake up for the dawn service.  My alarm rang at 4:30 am and I rolled out of bed.  Outside it was pouring rain.  I bundled up in a bunch of layers, headed for the door, got a text saying no way (Australians are soft), and reversed right back to bed.  I awoke again at 9 and headed to meet up with everyone.  We made a big breakfast and then.....started drinking.  See people here like to remember those who have served while they get hammered and forget their day.  It's a beautiful thing.  By noon everyone was drunk and ready to go.  I neglected to mention the best part about Anzac day.  That is 2-up.  A gambling game that is legal one day of the year.  Off to North Gong Pub we went.  Through the rain and cold we trekked.  Upon arrival hordes of people surrounded a 8' by 8' piece of carpet taped to the ground in the outside portion of the pub.  Everyone was holding up money, shouting, shaking hands, cursing, and drinking.  It was fucking intense.  I wanted in.  The game is simple.  Three coins are placed on a paddle.  Bets are made between two people, one choosing heads and the other tails.  One of them holds the money.  That's some serious trust.  Australia at its finest.  The flipper throws the coins up and the winner is the one who guessed if there would be more heads or tails.  The money is then given to the winner and a hand shake is made (in most cases).  50-50 odds.  Doesn't get much better than that.  I jumped right in.  There is no strategy to the game.  With nothing but luck people were making giant bets.  The highest I heard was $200. Are you kidding?! $200!!!  These people weren't messing around.  I watched for a bit then made my move.  I went up and down for a bit but came out $15 on top.  Solid.  Now I have nothing bad to say about the game.  Some of my friends weren't so lucky.  Take Wado for example.  $75....down.  Ouch.  Solid playing mate.  By the time we left the pub it felt like we had been there for hours.  I got home and was ready for bed...It was 7 p.m.  What a day.

Big Red

 A horrible idea

The five

Big Red - 45 feet or so

Gainer

 It didn't end well

All four!

Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sj-sv19Jo88

Again I must apologize for slacking on my blog.  This week has gone been a blur.

Tuesday.  Tuesday was yet another successful family dinner.  We have had steak, chicken roll-ups, mexican, breakfast, and chicken salad.  This week was pizza.  Delicious.  We had about eight pizzas of different toppings along with pigs in a blanket.  Every one was again stuffed to the brim and happy.  Great for our minds and harsh on our waist lines.

Wednesday.  Oh Wednesday.  The plan: Go to the ABC (Anything But Clothes for the older audiences) held at Ivory.  We dressed up as picnic baskets and did the usual pre-drinking.  Wild Card:  A beer bong was also constructed since we were out getting costumes and drove by the hardware store.  This, in combination of a strong bucket of punch, led to the obliteration of our livers.  One by one beer bongs were done and the bucket o' punch (4 bottles of champagne, bottle of vodka, goon, and juice) soon dwindled down to nothing.  Onto the bus.  First we lost Bee Bee and Connie.  The punch was too much.  Understandable.  We saw them off in a cab and then continued our voyage to Ivory.  Destination reached.  A peek into the window yielded some horrifying news.  The place was dead.  We glanced into each others eyes, shed the costumes ($10 down the drain), and headed to the always reliable Grand.  There the night went on as planned with no need for the purchase of additional drinks.  Anthea can vouch for this comment.  Later on we decided to go to McDonalds.  Gross I know.  However, they have 50 cent ice cream cones.  On the way Izzy cut her foot on some glass (Girls and their heels, they look for any chance to take them off).  What came out of this was probably the longest piggy back ride of all time.  No easy feat when the girl on your back is literally dead weight because she is hammered and not helping out at all.  We made it and the rest of the night was great.

Thursday.  I was hungover and I didn't want to do anything.  This didn't last.  Everyone was forced to go out.  When we got to town my jaw dropped.  Every single bar had about an hour long line out the front.  Apparently everyone in the city of Wollongong decided to go out that night.  We skipped the bars and got kebabs instead, stopped at a house party (where a kid ate the scorpion at the bottom of a tequila bottle), and headed home.  Nothing exciting.

Saturday.  Saturday we again headed to Nowra for a stay with the Jirgens family.  I love that place.  The exact house I want to live in when I'm older with its victorian design and huge garden.  We received the gift of another amazing home made meal, warm bed, and love.

Today I awoke the the best coffee I have had in Australia.  Thanks Margie.  We chilled for a bit then, after some convincing from me, headed to big red.  Its about a 50 foot cliff jump into the big river.  It's about five minutes from their house.  God I want to live there.  The jumps were great.  We did a 27 foot or so jump (little red) and the big red jump.  I over rotated a back flip off the little one and am currently watching the bruise form on my ribs.  I wasn't about to try that off that big one.  I'll post some pictures and a video soon.  It was the perfect end to another good weekend.

Oh wait, I still have two days off (making it a five day weekend).  Didn't I just have a week off?  That's right..... I love Australia.

Ouch

I figured it would be a nice little Sunday.  Most everyone had returned from vacation so the plan was to head to Abbey's Pub for the night.  Everything was going smoothly.  Typical evening: drinking, dancing, spending money.  The usual.  As I headed to the bathroom I witnessed a dude being thrown out of the bar.  Hilarious.  This guy was doing his best to get away but he was in a vice grip consisting of four huge dudes.  Sorry Charlie.  After a quick laugh I continued my voyage to the bathroom.  I stepped through the door and fumes of sweat and piss crawled up my nostrils.  I did what I had come to do and then went to wash my hands.  There I ran into a buddy, Cal, that I hadn't seen in a while.  We chatted for a sec then another buddy, Mitch, stepped into the room.  Now Mitch was a little more intoxicated than the rest of us.  He was unaware of the thin film of dirt and water that covered the tile floor.  All the sudden he was horizontal in the air and face planted onto the tile.  Cal and I looked at each other with a look of astonishment.  Mitch then sprang back up but he was holding his mouth.  A move of his hand revealed a large chip out of his two front teeth.  Holy Shit that had to hurt.  He went on to ask us what he should do.  I told him to quit looking for his teeth, have a fun night, and go see the dentist tomorrow.  I have learned from experience that there is really nothing else you can do.  The night was pretty bland after this.  Well kids what did we learn today?  Alcohol has an effect on your coordination and can often result in falling.  Be careful out there.  

Cairns pronounced "Cans"

Our room in Gilligans

 Heading out to sea

 Bunk on the ship

 Cool grafitti in Cairns

 Hostel

 Cool tree in town

Lagoon

I was sitting on the plane ride back to Sydney, with an old man half in my seat and half in his own, his crossed legs causing a protrusion of his leg into my leg area, and his arm resting on the seat in front of me which went across my face, when I started to reflect on this recent visit to Cairns.  Boy what a trip it was.

The first night started off slow.  After a day of travel we were all tired and ready for some rest.  The ride had gone smoothly and we checked in with no problems.  We ate some food and settled in for bed.  My eyes sprung open at about 3 am.  A rustling noise that sounded like "a grizzly bear getting into the trash" (Sarah) came from across the room.  No big deal, just our German roommate making her bed in the wee hours of the night, completely oblivious to the six other people sleeping in the room.  How quaint.

The next morning we were up and headed for our live aboard at 8am.  We transferred from a huge yacht, to a pontoon, to our ship over the course of a 3 hour ride out to sea.  The ship was large, sleeping maybe 30 people.  It had three decks, kitchen, bar, and a library...Paradise at its best.  After a quick tour, we jumped right into the water.  Our first dive was great.  I was quite rusty as I got used to the snorkel and fins as it had been at least three years since I had done it.  We saw a bunch of giant clams and some clown fish.  Once back at the ship we indulged in a quick snack and were back into the water after an hour break.  Watching all the divers gear up and head under was killing me.  I had to dive.  Luckily, I got the opportunity to do an intro dive.  Shit is unreal.  We went down about three meters to get a feel of it.  After a few tests I gave my guide a thumbs up and we dove on down.  The bubbles tickled my neck as I quickly inhaled and exhaled.  I was scared to death.  I knew I was stuck down there and there was no quick rise to the surface.  As we continued to sink I became elated.  The temperature quickly declined as did the light around us.  We then leveled out.  I was 12 meters underwater, something I had never done before.  Everything was so surreal.  I truly can't explain the feeling.  We didn't see much but just being that deep underwater was enough to convince me....I need to get certified.  We swam around for a bit dipping to 16.9 meters at our max depth.  By the end of the dive the guide allowed me to swim around by myself for a bit.  After about 30 minutes we began our ascent back to the surface.  Back on the ship I learned that though my nickname is fish, I breathe like a 350 pound lineman.  Guess I'll need to work on that for future dives.  The evening continued on with dinner, a night dive for the certified divers, and hanging out on the sun deck.  Then something amazing happened.  With a full stomach, good company, on a boat, in the middle of the ocean, I saw the most beautiful sunset of my life.  The sky was illuminated with every color of the rainbow.  Blue, green, yellow, orange, red, pink all flashed across the sky as the sun slowly dipped behind the distant mountains of Cairns.  A picture couldn't do the scene justice, but that sunset I will remember for the rest of my life.  The setting lasted about 20 minutes before the sun finally left the sky.  What a great night.

The second day we received a wonderful 5:30 wake up call.  Kill me.  I have a hard time doing 5:30, but then jumping into some cold water, that's close to torture.  It was totally worth it though.  The fish were everywhere, the sunrise was beautiful, and there is no better way to become instantly awake.  We did another three snorkel dives that day highlighted by spotting a turtle and tons of other cool fish.  The rest of the time was spent laying in the sun, eating food, and living the dream.  As quickly as quickly as the boat trip had begun, we were back on the huge yacht headed for land.  Back at the hotel, we once again were exhausted and had an early night, for tomorrow I had a big day coming.

Awakened with a quirky tune and a smile on my face, I slipped out of bed.  I ate a small breakfast, met up with the crew, and jumped into another van.  We were headed to the forest, not to tour around, but to bungee jump.  Hell yes.  The layout was awesome.  This place had a bar, lagoon, eating area, and, most importantly, a 50 meter high tower constructed specifically for bungee jumping.  This was my kind of store.  Our group of eight checked in and I was immediately chosen to go first.  Flight after flight I made my way to the top of the canopy as everything below me began to miniaturize.  There was no screwing around.  My legs were quickly attached to the cord and my camera taped to my hand.  I was ready to go.  It's a cruel reality how everything becomes way higher when you are looking down versus up.  With my toes hanging over the edge, my heart raced.  This wasn't like skydiving where you are thrust out of the plane by the person attached to your back.  The choice was all on my.  No one else was taking me off the ledge.  I took a deep breath, listened to the countdown, and jumped.  Holy shit.  I'm addicted.  It was crazy.  That's all I have to say.  Fucking Crazy.  One by one the group quickly followed, with the exception of Clare.  That girl may have stood on that ledge for 10 minutes, but in the end she conquered her fears and jumped.  Bravo.  By the time everyone had jumped, I had been waiting at the bottom for a good hour.  This didn't sit well with me.  I had to jump again.  After a quick trip to the front desk, I was once again climbing the steps with four other brave souls (Gabby, Kendall, Isak, and Oie) to do another jump.  This time I decided to do a back dive to mix things up.  The jump was perfect and the slack allowed me to dip to about my shoulders in the lagoon below.  Bungee jumping is amazing.  Can't wait to do it again.

The rest of the day was quite lax in comparison. We strolled around town, laid out at the lagoon, and weaved throughout the Asian markets.  For once we weren't tired and since it was our last night in Cairns, we knew we had to go big.  Quite a night ensued.  

As the lot of us sat in the hostel room drinking goon and juice a man knocked on the door.  He had short shorts, no shirt, and suspenders on.  He informed us that tonight was ladies night and that girls got five free glasses of champagne when they went to the night club.  I disregarded the remark and drank on, as my distain for the opposite sex grew.  However, the man added a little something before he left.  "Oh and guys can get the champagne too if they wear a dress."  Welp, I better get drinking.  I would like to think it takes a lot for me to put on a dress, but I guess it doesn't.  With the promise of free drinks and maybe 7 glasses of goon, I found myself sucking in and having two people slowly wriggle the dress over my shoulders.  Soon enough I was headed to the dance floor in a dress that went half way down my thighs, something everyone wants to see I'm sure.  I proceeded to dance the night away, learning that dancing in a dress without showing your boxers too much is quite a task.  Everyone looked great in their dress including Marcus and Isak.  The free drinks were all enjoyed which resulted in two lost phones among other things.  Luckily everything was found and everyone made it to their beds to my knowledge.    It was a solid last night.

The last day was spent walking around town, enjoying all the local cuisine, and traveling for about seven hours.  The trip was great.  Cairns is a nice little town with tons to do.  I would recommend it to anyone. It has a great aboriginal culture alongside its massive tourism attractions.  Cairns, a quintessential stop for anyone visiting Australia.  

At some point I'll get my videos of the reef and bungee jumping up.

The Dress

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PKt1bmfZnFY

bungee jumping video

This week

 Yet another Wednesday Night

 Ant at Unibar

 Wado at Unibar

 The duo

 Goon of Fortune!! (Wado's favorite obviously)

Bee Bee's Fortune, Tonald cheers on

Here is the link for the song Forget You performed by Ant and Sam at Unibar

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ut9bRk69_MU

Here is a link for another song written by Anthea.  Its called Let You In

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k2VceTMTAnY

Well I've been slacking with the blog but nothing too crazy has happened.  Wednesday was a successful send off to Bminor.  The highlight was probably being ripped off at the bar.  Now Wado and I couldn't just let that slide.  In spite of the bartender's mistake they are now missing nine glasses.  You try walking out of a bar and not getting caught with five of them in your pants.  It was impressive.  Everyone had their own story though.  Izzy somehow got cut in the face on the dance floor and spent her night in the ER.  Clare spent her night relieving her body of its alcoholic and food content.  And most importantly, Sarah was named "little blueberry" (there is a story but I would get murdered if I posted that).  The night was a success.

Friday night was Wado and Ant's night to perform and boy did they shine.  Despite a solid opener, they lit the place up.  The fear on their faces as the got on that stage was priceless, but by the end of it Ant was actually smiling and playing at a reasonable tempo (in the beginning it looked like her arm was having a seizure).  Wado appeared from behind his music book and he too seemed to be enjoying himself.  Here are a couple of their songs.  The sound quality of my camera doesn't do them justice.  They were amazing.  I'll put videos up when I'm back.


Saturday night was my first Wollongong house party experience.  The night started with the usual pre-drinking shenanigans.  This quickly escalated to drinking heavily.  I quote "It hit me like bricks".  From then on only bits and pieces are memorable.  I took place in a game of beer pong and somehow won (despite stupid Aussie rules), ravaged a bunch of their food, and sucked ass in flip cup.  Then came goon of fortune.  This entailed attaching two goon bags to a rotating drying rack and spinning it.  The two people that the bags stopped on got to attempt to drink as much goon as they good.  This usually resulted in a goon shower, as the bags were fairly high off the ground.  The party slowly merged back inside where we were all greeted with a strobe light.  Apparently, the dancing was a little too intense because it resulted in a visit from the police.  Their words of advice: "turn the music down a bit and party on".  God I love that.  Of course I didn't find out about this until the day after (it was that kind of night).  Soon enough I was in a taxi on my way home.  Everyone then dispersed...I think.  I woke up the next morning fully clothed with the lights on and covered in grass stains.  It was a great night, even been then the horrible hangover the next morning.

Today I am off to the wonderful city of Cairns.  We are spending two days aboard a ship snorkeling and diving, a day bungee jumping, and a day exploring the city.  Its my first hostel experience as well.  I'm hoping its not really like the movie.  Wish me luck.